what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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