I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
