Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
