your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
