just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
