the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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