Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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