I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize