Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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