i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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