I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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