Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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