Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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