textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
no, he came in my armpit
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
