you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
