All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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