Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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