At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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