I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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