she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
