Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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