allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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