Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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