That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My feet surprised me
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