My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.