there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask