Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out