What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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