Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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