It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
