he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Still dying that you shit outside
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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