so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
