this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
