we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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