Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
