rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize