Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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