420 ftw
Screwed.edu
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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