You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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