Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize