I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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