It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
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i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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