Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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