That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize