Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
