dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
