so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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