Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
