I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
