Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
