So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
