dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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