so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize