At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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