My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
