I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
