How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
