shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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