i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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