If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
