All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
