Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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