guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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