I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
