She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize